The Joys of Solitude: Or, What Does She Do In There All Day?
Let’s consider this writing practice for me and an explanation for the curious.
First off, no, I don’t have many friends. I have one true friend who does not live in this state, and a few acquaintances from the old days I stay in touch with. No romantic interests at this time. Everyone else has been cut off from my life, including and (in my case) especially family. With good reasons, I might add. Is keeping people around who are not true to you a sign of health? You know the types. They insert subtle digs into conversations thinking you don’t notice. They can’t stand to see you happy or excelling, so they try to pull you down and ruin your good mood. Or they talk shit about you when you’re not around. What is the point of those people? There is no point. Unless of course you’re insecure and need the numbers to prove you’re “somebody.” I don’t need the numbers, and I certainly don’t need people around who don’t understand what friendship (or family) means.
But don’t you feel lonely? Almost never. Occasionally I miss my cat who passed away; the Dogbear was my soul buddy. I feel pretty darn good just about every day. Believe it or not, I have a great time by myself. I have many projects I’m working on that are meaningful to me. My job, if you want to call it that, is just for money. It doesn’t define me. So my life is peaceful. I don’t have people making demands of me all the time. I remember a time when I had many people around and it turned out most of those people didn’t actually give a shit about me. They just drained my energy, and then dropped me when I was no longer useful to them. Many of them slandered me to the point of absurdity. Fuck ‘em. Now all that energy I used to put into others, I put into myself and my projects.
Does this mean you don’t want anyone in your life? No. It doesn’t mean that at all. It means I have absolutely ZERO tolerance for bullshit and people who are inauthentic. Tell me. What is the point of giving to and caring for people who will never love you back? There is no point. Especially when I’m perfectly content in solitude. So that means I’m open to others that will add positivity to my life, to which I would naturally return the favor. Everyone else gets silence. I am sad that this era teaches people there is something wrong with solitude, because I have learned so much being a modern hermit. I’m comfortable with who I am. I’ve had time to work on myself and process my past. Realize where I was actually wrong and where others wanted me to believe I was wrong, and the difference between the two. I have time to strategize and plan for a future and time to implement those plans… time I didn’t have before. Time really is the most valuable resource.
Now to the Pièce de Résistance…What does she do in there all day?
Let’s take today (8/17) for instance. I am not doing delivery work today. But I am quite industrious behind closed doors. Staying home does not mean being lazy. I read a lot. I am writing this post. I have another post or two to write after this. I am lifting weights and doing cardio. Spending time in VR in my favorite gun games, which I consider practice (fingers crossed, lol): Zero Caliber 2 and Medal of Honor. Maybe shooting targets while standing on a rollercoaster in Epic Rollercoasters. Then language learning in Mondly VR¹. I do one unit each in Russian and Chinese, just for the challenge. Then 3 units each in French and Italian. Then writing a few pages for my upcoming book. Chores, of course. I also cook all my food (stove or oven, rarely microwave) and weigh it to know exactly how many calories I’m eating, because knowledge is power. Other days I paint. Other days I spend time in ritual, which includes singing and dancing and poetry. Next weekend I’m refurbishing a coffee table I found on the side of the road. Busy, but not visible from outside. Though I think it’s possible people will eventually notice the output. I’m not gonna force it. Why? Because I’m perfectly happy right now.
These things I do matter more to me than having a traditional job. They matter more to me than being seen as a “hard worker.” Which for many people means you’re making real money for someone else and wearing it like a badge of superiority. Wage slaves bragging about their chains. The elegance of the mindfuck is astounding.
Let me complain for a second about a common attitude I’ve come across. I had someone come here to fix something recently. A person who is in my apartment complex every day. A maintenance worker. I cheerfully said, “How are you [redacted name]?” He said, “Oh, you know, working hard.” But the subtext was, I work hard and you don’t. You’re home all the time, therefore you are lazy. I LOATHE THIS ATTITUDE. First, it’s not true. I do more than most people. Second, no one who has that attitude would want my life. They wouldn’t be able to stand the solitude or the discipline it takes to build something FOR POSTERITY without ANY external motivation or praise or direction. So before you judge someone, make sure you have all the facts. Or just keep your fucking subtext to yourself. Ok, thanks for letting me vent.
So what do I do in here all day? I cultivate my own excellence, for myself. Kind of like I talked about in the The Obsolescence Gospel last week.
Yes, I am self-involved, but that is actually the exact opposite of narcissism. Narcissists interfere with people; they can’t help themselves. They would never be able to stand solitude or absence from social media or working without external motivation. The self-involvement I’m describing is more akin to what the Stoics called eudaimonia—flourishing that comes from within and flows outward rather than being extracted from without.
I am not attention-seeking. I do not interfere with the lives of others. I am genuinely happy when I see people winning or elevating. I don’t try to tear anyone down for fun, or from envy. I don’t feel envy or fear, so… I offer gifts and I do not expect anything in return. People need to stop using that clinical term if they don’t understand what it means. [Upcoming post about this.]
Ok, that was fun. Another window into my mind. Good writing practice too. Now I feel warmed up for the book writing. Thanks for reading. I appreciate you infinity to the infinity power. ∞^∞
—Majeye, The Countess of Monte Cristo
¹ Mondly VR users: In case you’re interested, there is so much more in that app than just having conversations for the purpose of getting around in a foreign country using their language. Click the “world” button on the left. Then go to “extensive learning.” Each section contains six lessons/units and a seventh that serves as a review. There are a wide range of topics and tenses. Mondly scores you, per language. It helps with motivation. lol. Obviously you can change the language in settings. Every major worldwide language is there. I’ve been studying languages for a while in many different forms (textbooks, Pimsleur, et al)—Mondly is one of the best I’ve ever seen. Anyway, I love languages. The way words and sentences are structured informs how we think. It’s fascinating. Also, it makes the muscles in your face hurt, because different languages make different mouth shapes—ones American English rarely uses.
And then there's the question of what studying multiple languages does to the mind over time. Bilingual and multilingual cognition is a genuinely different thing—not just "knows more words" but structurally different executive function, different attention management, different metalinguistic awareness. The bilingual brain is constantly managing two (or more) competing systems, which builds cognitive flexibility in ways that monolingual brains don't develop in the same way. The research on this is robust and interesting. Multilingualism as a long-term practice is doing something to the architecture of cognition, not just the vocabulary.
For the cats, dogs, and ghosts: I challenge thee to a duel! Or maybe a conversation. lol
I’ll meet you at the crossroads. Until then, I’ll sit here playing life-path roulette.
:D
“She’s trying too hard.” Sorry sweetness, that’s projection about your own lack of will and/or your personal limitations. And it’s so boring to hear. At least be creative about your tear-down attempts…
From where I’m sitting, I’m not trying hard enough. One of the many beauties of solitude is one has no idea where they are oriented in relation to others—because there are no others. No one to hurl their disgusting projections onto you and bring down your vibe. [By solitude I mean no input from others I don’t choose. No social media or adjacent, no comments sections, and no news except local and weather. ACTUAL SOLITUDE. Let’s call it cognitive sovereignty.]
I’m sure you’ve all been through this, my delectable readers. You start doing something you enjoy or to elevate yourself, and some nosy motherfucker has some bullshit to say about it. It’s like maybe if the nosy asshole were building themselves up, they wouldn’t have time to worry about what you’re doing. Yeah, I’m venting again. Different day (8/22), same bullshit.
One more thing, don’t assume Amazon delivery drivers are stupid and then proceed to treat one like an idiot and talk down to them. You never who or what you’re talking to. Yeah, I’m talking to you random apartment manager at a building I delivered to today. The audacity was insane. ***here’s my middle finger that I was too professional to give you at the time***
Next Week
Monday — Let’s talk about ALCHEMY
What if everything thrown at you—the doubt, the hate, the noise—was actually fuel? Alchemy isn't about turning lead into gold. It's about turning yourself into gold. This guide covers the real practice: curating your environment, metabolizing enemy energy, protecting your frequency, and building something undeniable. The lab is open. Get in.
Thursday — The Misdiagnosis: Why Self-Sufficiency and Narcissism Are Not the Same Animal
The word "narcissist" has been so thoroughly misappropriated that it now means almost nothing—except, vaguely, “person who seems too comfortable without me.” This post is an intervention. We're restoring the term to its actual clinical meaning, distinguishing it from its structural opposite, and asking three honest questions that cut through the noise. If you've ever been accused of narcissism simply because you're self-sufficient, keep your own counsel, and don't perform your life for public consumption—this one's for you. If you are a narcissist, you probably won't finish it.